its way past my bed time but i can hardly get to sleep in a timely manner these days. I guess its just one of those things where some nights are worse than others but i've had like 3 worse nights in a row after a sleu of bad nights with a few good nights thrown in.. I keep telling myself "self, its gonna get better" in hopes of someday actually believing it or maybe it coming true.. fake it til you make it right?! ..right?.. maybe
my little bed doesnt seem so little when im laying in it by myself.. honestly i would rather be squished in it with the man that i love than to have all the space and be alone... who knew a twin could feel so large?
I wonder if i will ever feel like my old self again? Do i even remember what 'my old self' is like.. i have flashbacks of feelings of my old self they come on like a hotflash and then they disappear when reality kicks in.. I am starting to learn to embrace my 'new self' i hope i can find a way to intergrate my new and old self and be a 'modified self' wait wtf am i even talking about i sound crazy to myself.... oh well, on to the next one..
sheesh I feel like someone put my life in a crazy spin and then just put it on pause.. like a book with a lot of crazy chapters and then a boring chapter.
Not that my life is 'boring' per se but idk i feel like i should be doing more! eh i guess something will come together for me i just have to keep my eyes heart and mind open....
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