Crying Again..will it ever end...UUGH

Recently i've been spending a lot more time upset in my relationship than i have been enjoying it... it makes me wonder if the relationship is even worth trying to salvage... we spend more time fighting than acting like we love each other. My trust for him has gone way down. Im not sure if its my own insecurities or what. I know that he probably wont cheat on me, but im not sure if he wont do anything to hurt me... big diff...
I feel so lonely like i should just pick up the pieces and move on. People tell me im wasting my time and sometimes i wonder if i really am. It kills me to think that i put forth this much effort and gone through all this just to get hurt.
What the hell happened to me. a little over a year ago I would never .. not even.. I would laugh at somebody crying over somebody who is not dead. I guess I never understood how much love could change everything. I hate this and as much as i try to push through the pain..unhappiness is tiring and i dont know if I have the stamina anymore. SOmetimes I wonder what I am even fighting for. my reason isnt clear... but then again what, in love, is clear... Maybe this is what i get for avoiding it for so long.. for treating people the way that I did....Karma, maybe... Or what if i just wasnt ready to settle... either way at this point IM FUCKED